SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
