i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
