in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
