Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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