I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
