Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
