Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
