the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
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