week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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