I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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