Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
