I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There r osticjed everywhere
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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