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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
