We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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