david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
