their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
