is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
