i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
