How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
