After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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