the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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