oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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