she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
false alarm, still single
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
