Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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