dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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