Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
