Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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