The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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