glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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