you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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