so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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