I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
