I like my sex mixed with concussions.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
