I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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