Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
