When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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