There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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