if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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