It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
