You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
