I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
