We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
