ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
