now i know why i became what i already was.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
