Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Come on in and take your pants off
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
