it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
