i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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