i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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