i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
