It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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